When I was around 8 years old, I develop eczema on my legs. I remember at that time in my life, I like to play outside while it is raining heavily, getting myself all wet and dirty in the muddy grass. I believe that is how I develop the itchy rashes on my legs. My mother bring me to see a retired TCM and I was healed after 1 month. I was too young to understand what was the treatment but I don't think it is steroids since it took 1 month to heal. Anyways, my next eczema was 14 years old when I develop an itchy rash on my elbow. Once again I was treated by the same doctor and was healed after 1 month. (i think the doctor is not available anymore)
20-23 years old
Eventually I went to serve the Army around 21 years old like every male Singaporean did. At 22 years old, there was a period of time where I develop itchy rashes on my arms and legs that is very persistent and doesn't go away for 2 months. I know itchy rash was very common in army. I remember I was given Triderm cream during my visit to the doctor. This is also my first encounter with topical steroids. The steroid cream magically heal my persistent rashes and I was happy. Everytime the rashes came back, I use the cream again and the rashes will be gone. This pattern keep repeating for around 1 year and I have to revisit the doctor several times. I finish serving army at 23 years old. At that time, I still have itchy rashes that come back from time to time but I thought that since I no longer need to dirty myself in muddy grass anymore, I decided not to visit the doctor anymore. (perhaps this is a wise decision lol)
23-27 years old
I began my working and studying life. During my university life, some of the rashes of my army days returns but it wasn't serious. In addition, I also develop new rashes on my jawline and cheek but I didn't really bothered with them since it is not that itchy. I simply leave them alone and I remember the rashes come and go away on its own several times. (now that I recall about these, was this actually TSW back then?)
28 years old (Itchy nightmare began)
When I was 28 years old, I was stressed by the final year of University and my grandparents were hospitalized due to worsening stroke condition. The projects in university and the frequent visit to hospital and my reports dateline rushes causes a huge amount of stress on me. It was this heavy moments when I suddenly develop a patch of itchy rashes on my forehead. I went to see a general doctor. This time the doctor gave me Dermacort cream which is supposedly my second encounter with topical steroids. The cream work its magic clearing all the rashes on my forehead but as usual, those itchy rashes return. Similar to what I did in my Army days, I keep applying the cream whenever the rashes return again.
After 3 months of topical steroid usage, the itchy rashes spread to my cheek, hairlines, jawline, chin, basically whole face and this Dermacort cream is also starting to lose its magic! I began to worry and went to book an appointment with a dermatologist in Orchard. I told the dermatologist that I have been using Dermacort cream. Well, he diagnosed me with Seborrhoeic dermatitis and gave me another Hydrocortisone cream as well as Selenium Sulfhide Shampoo. He mention that the steroid cream should only be used for the 1st week but I can keep using the shampoo 3 times a week for as long as I need.
The new steroid cream did its magic and all the itchy rashes on my face is gone. I enjoy the short moment of normal skin. When the rashes started to creep back in the second month, I went back to the dermatologist. He say the rashes are expected to return and he gave me Desonide cream which he says I have to apply this to my whole face for the next 1 month and I should be fully healed. And so I apply for 1 month as he had instructed but Desonide cream seems to be useless and my itchy rashes soon return back full force. The dermotologist says I should be healed after the 1 month of Desonide cream but apparently my condition seems to be getting worse. And to make things worst, new itchy rashes started to develop and spread on my legs too (and I was given another cream to deal with it).
Since I am a guy, I personally don't really care about my facial skin as much as a girl would. My primary concern is the itchiness, looks is only secondary to me. The itchiness is the most annoying issue and it affect my daily life! The constant itchiness throughout the day distract me from being able to focus during my studies and work. The itchiness also disturb my sleep at night. I can resist the temptation to scratch my eczema during the day but I don't have that willpower while sleeping. Very frequently, I often scratch my legs unknowingly at night until it bleeds and the pain wake me up.
29-30 years old (Trials and researches)
I did a lot of researches about itchy skin. I spend a great deal of effort on health and diet during these 2 years. When I read about how bad steroid was, I decided decided to ask my doctor. I was glad my doctor agree that steroid should not be use for a long period. My doctor told me that steroid is safe to use for 7 days and then let the body rest for 30 days. So I thought that sounds good and I decided to continue using the topical steroids regularly as long as I follow the instruction.
Throughout the 2 years, I regularly use topical steroid whenever the rash seems to spread but I tried to minimize my usage. At the same time, I have also prepared a list of alternative treatments for my eczema thinking that I was having some sort of hidden illness. Well, below are all the list of methods which I have learned from the internet. These are some of the stuffs I have tried:
- Trying out various type of dandruff shampoo (zinc pyrithione, selenium sulfide, ketaconazole, etc)
- Trying out various forms of exercise (gym, qigong, daily brisk walk, etc)
- Trying out various supplements (manuka honey, vitamin B complex, cod liver fish, extra virgin coconut oil, etc)
- Trying out various drinks (green tea, berocca, apple cider vinegar, kangen water, etc)
- Trying out various diet (avoiding gluten, low-carb diet, paleo, candida(planned), fruit diet, vegetarian no meat, etc)
- Trying out various methods (tea tree oil, sulfur soap, raw honey mask, apple cinder vinegar, acid wash, daily cold shower, full blood test, sea salt soap, etc)
- Trying out various sleeping hours (10pm-6am, 11pm-7am, 1am-8am, 9pm-5am, etc)
31 years old (Enlightenment maybe)
As of 2013, I am 31 years old. After going through the nightmare for 3.5 years (and also 3.5 years of research), I stumbled upon www.itsan.org one day and the youtube videos about topical steroid withdrawal immediately caught my full attention. I watch the video with my jaw open and my brain goes crazy. The big question is why is Jane story (in the video) reflecting so closely to mine? am I also having TSW? Suddenly, it feels like an enlightenment with a flash of light shine over me. I realized what I have been doing. For the past 3.5 years, I have been using topical steroids on and off. Without knowing I might be actually suffering from TSW everytime I stop using. The pattern repeat itself like 20 times during these 3.5 years!! No wonder I cannot draw any conclusions during the past 3 years of alternative treatment/methods! No wonder nothing seems to have a direct correlation on my skin condition! TSW could be my underlying factor that is causing all these!
I remember the doctor says I am safe by using the topical steroids for 7 days and then allowing the body to rest for 30 days? Seriously 30 days? It seems like all the TSW sufferer took at least 300 to 600 days to recover! OMG? I started going through many blogs of TSW sufferer, reading their story and looking at their photos. I find that many of them also began with a small problem and was given topical steroids which snowball into a larger problem. After going through all these blogs, I am glad that I am a very light user of topical steroids myself. All along, I use topical steroids very sparingly and didn't dare to cover large portion of my skin with it. But I guess I still use more than I should after repeated usage over the years.
Right now (as I started this blog), I am not entirely sure if I am addicted to topical steroids and suffering from TSW because I definitely don't have red skin or burning skin like most people at ITSAN was having. However, I figured I have nothing to lose anyways. I have decided and am going to stop topical steroid as of 1st November 2013 and I guess I will have to see how it goes. Perhaps this is really the key to solve my itchy skin / steroid induced eczema once and for all. I will also return back to normal diet because I am already severely underweight now and none of those diet actually help. Therefore, I will just eat whatever I like, yes including McDonald and KFC. It's time for me to return back to normal life and just endure the itchiness without topical steroids. Hopefully I don't take very long to heal.
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